posted 10-03- 12:20 AM               

Late in life Tesla saw some things in this real world, our world, that made a strong impression on him. He saw that all men, although individuals, were part of a larger being - an individual in its own right. This great being needed all of its people to do the things that they did in order to keep this being alive, just like cells in a body.

Tesla sensed this in everyday life, and he also knew that people who were bad for the great being gave off a negative energy - and were attacked by the being just as bad cells in your body. When such a person entered the room, it hurt Tesla. Wicked men could cause him such great pain that he had to retire to bed for weeks to recover.

And likewise, good men were full of strength and life. Tesla saw these things, and they just might be as real as AC electricity...

If this force can be felt, then maybe I have felt it... or at least could think that if there is such a force, this is what it would feel like. I never thought I was one who could have given his own life for a cause - such as in WW2. Since I was a child I have imagined what that would be like... I have always been so full of life, and have planned for myself to do great things in life someday- if only I have the time and the life to do them.

But to give up one's own life - at such a young age - for the good of all. I have always believed, since I was little, that such a gift was given and was for the good of all. But could I make such a sacrifice? I could not imagine...

But now thusly attacked... not my person, but my core beliefs and way of life - my reason for wanting a future at all. When what is good to me is called evil and is challenged - now I feel the force.

The force is not my will, it is outside of me. I can not ignore it or it causes me discomfort - but I do not try to ignore it, so I have no idea what would happen if I did - maybe this is part of Tesla's pain.

The force is irresistible - and it is charming and yet can seem almost quaint, like the glorification of war itself. But it lures me towards the roar of eternity, beaconing me stray hither into its human warmth - into the fold of fallen heroes and true men. I see there my father-in-law, and the people through history who I admire - and all together they glow in the hearth-fire ready to welcome my spirit - who I truly am... and let me finally leave behind those parts of me that feel cold, and are not part of who I really am, but parts of me that have become attached to me in this world that is not really my home.

I must die anyway, I can not live forever. What a strange thing to learn. A person learns it, and then quickly unlearns it when they are very young in a silent ritual that can never be remembered.

So what of life? For each it has its meaning, but for all it is finite. A finite life can only take meaning from that which is done through the too-few years... and purpose is the unit of measurement. A life without purpose does not happen, for we are all here to create the story of our life and the drama of humanity.

The story is the life, and the telling of the tale is it's reward. So much may be, but nothing you have ever done or ever thought can be taken away from eternity. You have this much, and more than this you do not need. You have your days and your nights, and a finite life to put them into perspective and form your purpose and your identity.

Such an old-fashioned past time it is, to wonder where you go when you die. You might as well spend the hours wondering where you were before you were born. If you can glimpse that, then perhaps you will know your future eternal home. That which we really are is timeless, permanent and immortal.

posted 10-09- 09:20 PM               

quote:

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Originally posted by Psi:
"Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift my soul. O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed. Let not mine enemies triumph over me.
Yea, let none that wait on thee be ashamed: let them be ashamed which transgress without cause."

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I am too stupid to understand The Bible.

What is gained/lost by not trusting God?

I am. I will cease to be later (maybe sooner). Does trust in God matter?

The lesson that the militarty tried to teach me was the importance of trusting in other people.

I only trust that I'll make the wrong choice 50% of the time.