posted 12-22- 11:10 PM               

Actually, we may be on to something. One segment of our population does spend a lot of time dodging bullets and they dominate American sports. (Don't you just love sick humor.)

posted 12-23- 09:54 AM               

From now on, it's just boiled potatoes and animal intestines for me!

Or wait...animal intestines...that may be Scottish...yeah, that's right, you chaps have nothing but boiled potatoes and small bits of mad cow in brine...

Either that, or I'll start using the diet the chaps were implementing in "Trainspotting."

Hey, how come disgruntled individuals in dreary, dismal countries around the world always make fun of other people to make themselves feel better?

But seriously folks, really, I think those crazy Irish folks are great...I love "Lucky Charms," and I watch "The Quiet Man" every St. Pat's, while I was down a bunch of corned beef and cabbage with some Guiness and Bushmill's.

Then I stop for a moment, and think of all the hungry people in the world, unable to enjoy a feast fit for a king in front of a large-screen TV.

Then I pour another Bushmill's, and have a thick brownie, with creme de menthe frosting with a scoop of vanilla ice cream for dessert.

"MARGE! Beer me!"

------------------

Mk10 Maj=225th=

posted 12-23- 12:19 PM               

by Mk10

CHAPTER ONE

An incredibly large portion of the population of Ireland, almost simultaneously, decides to board flotilla after flotilla of ships, and head for a decent place to live.

CHAPTER TWO

The incredibly large portion of the population of Ireland arrives at Ellis Island, only to realize the have left a life of squalor, famine, and disease, for a life of squalor, famine, and disease.

CHAPTER THREE

The incredibly large portion of the population of Ireland, during a drunken stupor, realize that this situation sucks. Pooling their vast numbers for revelations on how they might change their fate, they come upon the idea that not only changes their situation, but forms the very backbone and driving force of their newfound homeland from that point on.

Suddenly, Irish Psychological Warfare is applied, and soon the residents of Manhattan are under the impression that is illegal to be a policeman unless you are of Irish descent. Confused by this Irish psychological trickery, The Brave New World awakens to find itself policed almost exclusively by Irish immigrants.

Simultaneously, a large contingent of the Irish population begins to live a life of organized crime.

Really pissed off now that they've been treated like such shit in their new world, and having had such high aspirations and all, they decide to say collectively, "Fuck It!," and decide to work together to further their economic advancement.

This probably more than anything has contributed to the concept of American Resolve. To work together, thinking only of yourselves, at the cost of all others, so you can sit back 140 years later, eating lots of food, getting fat, living a great life, while the rest of the world can only countermand its lowly existence by poking fun at it the society it created.

If it were not for these braves immigrants of long ago, we would never have figured out the concept of corrupt capitalism, and would no doubt still be little more than a free colony, trying to figure out where it was going to get its next meal.

Thanks Ireland!

posted 12-23- 01:06 PM               

It's called: "What Have You Done For Me Lately?"

And in that regard, all you can really say for yourself is a somewhat decent U2 album finally, and a bunch of yodeling female singers.

So far that rates you one scoop.

posted 12-23- 02:02 PM               

We'll be starting off Christmas Eve with some Oyster stew, cheese and crackers, and pie. Might wash it down with some port and champagne. Jeez, I'm startin' to sound Irish almost, eh?

Hope you get what you want for Christmas. If you're like me, you'd like a 64mb video card and a 1+Ghz processor, but I think I'll have to wait a while longer.

Say, you don't know any of the chicks in The Corrs do ya?

posted 12-23- 03:34 PM               

I thought we just went to see England and France, and then picked up a coffee table book somewhere called, "Cute Piles of Rubble That Used to Be Something Really Important a Long Time Ago in Ireland" to take back home.

Amazing. You learn something new every day.

posted 12-23- 08:17 PM               

The trick is to freeze the sticks of butter, so they'll take the breading, and not melt while you cook'em in the fryer...

posted 12-24- 03:34 PM               

(A quote from the non-academy award winning film, Austin Powers)

posted 01-06- 04:50 AM               

For a fraction of the cost of fuel I burn in my car I could get enough beefsteaks to keep me well on a fat side... or I could walk instead and the money saved this way spend on booze and gambling (which I do and that's the real explanation of us here being so poor)