posted 05-14- 12:20 PM               

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This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press
Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of
calls asking where the Any Key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that
her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.
The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse
was packaged in.

3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of
her defective diskettes.
A few days later a letter arrived from the customer
along with photocopies of the floppies.

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get
his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of
troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was
trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front
of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer
who was enraged because his computer had told him he
was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the
computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles \nprinting documents. He told the technician that the
computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user
had also tried turning the computer screen to face the
printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the
printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support
couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After
ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician
asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this
foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal"
turned out to be the mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say
her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she
unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20
minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked
what happened when she pressed the power switch, she
asked "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing
software and rang for support. "I put in the first
disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it
said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it
in...." The user hadn't realized
that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the
instructions for installing software. The instructions
said to remove the disk from its cover and insert into
the drive. The user had physically removed the casing
of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop: Caller:
"Hello,is this Tech Support?" Tech: "Yes, it is. How
may I help you?" Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is
broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go
about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's
because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder?
Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know
anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller
because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem
with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running
it under "Windows." The woman responded, "No, my
desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window
and his printer is working fine."

13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control
and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a
task list in the middle of the screen. Now type
the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

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posted 05-14- 12:21 PM               

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[This message has been edited by Vahnatai (edited 05-14-2001).]

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posted 05-14- 02:50 PM               

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Great stuff! That last one gave me a really good laugh.

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posted 05-14- 03:02 PM               

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LoL Why am I not surprised?

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posted 05-14- 05:11 PM               

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I think I took some of these calls! I do tech support for Dell & I tell ya, I get at least one MORON call a day!

hip63
[BTW, like my new handle?]

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....remember always fly high!....<a href="http://groovygalaxy.50megs.com/psychedelicsquadron.html">groovygalaxy.50megs.com/psychedelicsquadron.html</a>

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posted 05-14- 07:16 PM            

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I think most of these people are from Idaho

P

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posted 05-14- 11:38 PM               

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LOL

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posted 05-15- 10:38 AM               

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i broke my cup holder

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posted 05-15- 12:09 PM            

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It kinda reminds me of a true story about a little boy that stuck a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich in his dads VCR. About the same level of intelligence

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posted 05-15- 12:14 PM               

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Kind of pisses me off that those cup holders cost £100+. And who says we aren't being ripped off by computer companies?

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