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Author
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Topic: Ultimate Chain Letter
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Jerry
Pilot
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posted 05-22- 04:35 PM
   
Hello,I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent
> >to me by people who actually believe that if you send
> >them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a
> >breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough
> >money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell
> >her to a traveling freak show.
> >
> >Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to
> >give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email,
> >$1000? How stupid are we? "Ooooh, looky here! If I
> >scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid
> >by every good looking model in the magazine!"
> >What a bunch of bullshit.
> >
> >Basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the
> >people out there who have nothing better to do than to
> >send me stupid chain mail forwards.
> >
> >Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into
> >my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not
> >continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD
> >and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
> >Mayflower. Fuck them.
> >
> >If you're going to forward something, at least send me
> >something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your
> closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will
somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I
> >don't fucking care.
> >
> >
> >Show a little intelligence and think about what you're
> >actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's
> >your own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter
that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your
life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making
them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to
a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per
> >letter he'll receive if you forward this email.
> >
> >Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise,tomorrow morning your
> >underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.
>IP: Logged |
Snake
Pilot
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posted 05-22- 04:54 PM
Or...
Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of
being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not
sending out 50 billion fucking forwards sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you forward them, that some poor 6 year old girl in
Arkansas with lung cancer brought on by second-hand smoke from the
cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who kidnapped her and took
pornographic pictures of her for use on their child pornography web site
will get 6 fucking cents every time you send me the letter.Morons, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How fucking stupid are you? Ooooh,
looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by
every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog! What a bunch of bullshit. So
basically, this message is a big *FUCK YOU* to all the idiots out there who
have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe
the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize
me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Aristotle
and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if
it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World
Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuck them. If you're going to forward something, at least send something
mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest
friends," and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
receive a nickel from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I
don't fucking care. I don't give a shit. Show a little intelligence and
think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity. P.S. Please forward *this* and an extended middle finger to at least 50 of
your best friends. IP: Logged | |
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