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Author
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Topic: Darwin Awards...
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Jeeves
Pilot
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posted 02-10- 11:17 AM
   
> > > > > The latest Darwin Awards update....
> > > > > The Darwin Awards, for those not familiar,
> are for those individuals
> >who
> > > > > contribute to the survival of the fittest by
> > > > > eliminating themselves from the gene pool
> before they have a chance
> >to
> > > > > breed.
> > > > >
> > > > > 1. A young Canadian man, searching for a way
> of getting drunk
> >cheaply,
> > > > > because he had no money with which to buy
> alcohol, mixed gasoline
> >with
> > > > > milk.
> > > > > Not surprisingly, this concoction made him
> ill, and he vomited into
> >the
> > > > > fireplace in his house. This resulting
> explosion and fire burned
> >his
> > > > > house
> > > > > down, killing both him and his sister.
> > > > >
> > > > > 2. A 34-year-old white male found dead in
> the basement of his home
> >died
> > > of
> > > > > suffocation, according to police. He was
> > > > > approximately 6'2" tall and weighed 225
> pounds. He was wearing a
> > > pleated
> > > > > skirt, white bra, black and white saddle
> shoes, and a woman's wig.
> >It
> > > > > appeared that he was trying to create a
> schoolgirl's uniform look.
> >He
> > > was
> > > > > also wearing a military gas mask that had
> the filter canister
> >removed
> > > and
> > > > > a
> > > > > rubber hose attached in its place. The other
> end of the hose was
> > > connected
> > > > > to a one end of a hollow wooden tube approx.
> 12" long and 3" in
> > > diameter.
> > > > > The tube's other end was
> > > > > inserted into his rectum for reasons
> unknown, and was the cause of
> >his
> > > > > suffocation. Police found the task of
> explaining the circumstances
> >of
> > > his
> > > > > death to his family very awkward.
> > > > >
> > > > > 3. Three Brazilian men were flying in a
> light aircraft at low
> >altitude
> > > > > when
> > > > > another plane approached. It appears that
> they decided to moon the
> > > > > occupants of the other plane, but lost
> control of their own aircraft
> >and
> > > > > crashed. They were all found dead in the
> wreckage with their pants
> > > around
> > > > > their ankles.
> > > > >
> > > > > 4. A police officer in Ohio responded to a
> 911 call. She had no
> >details
> > > > > before arriving, except that someone had
> reported that his father
> >was
> > > not
> > > > > breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found
> the man face down on the
> > > > > couch,
> > > > > naked. When she rolled him over to check
> for a pulse and to start
> >CPR,
> > > > > she
> > > > > noticed burn marks around his genitals.
> After the
> > > > > ambulance arrived and removed the man - who
> was declared dead on
> >arrival
> > > > > at
> > > > > the hospital - the police made a closer
> inspection of the couch, and
> > > > > noticed
> > > > > that the man had made a hole between the
> cushions. Upon flipping the
> > > couch
> > > > > over,
> > > > > they discovered what caused his death.
> Apparently the man had a
> >habit
> >of
> > > > > putting his penis between the cushions, down
> into the hole and
> >between
> > > two
> > > > > electrical sanders (with the sandpaper
> removed, for obvious
> >reasons).
> > > > > According to
> > > > > the story, after his orgasm the discharge
> shorted out one of the
> > > sanders,
> > > > > electrocuting him.
> > > > >
> > > > > 5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control
> of her car on a highway
> >near
> > > > > Marseilles and crashed into a tree,
> seriously injuring her passenger
> >and
> > > > > killing herself. As a commonplace road
> accident, this would not
> >have
> > > > > qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it
> not for the fact that the
> > > > > driver's attention had been distracted by
> her Tamagotchi key ring,
> >which
> > > > > had started urgently beeping for food as she
> drove along. In an
> >attempt
> > > to
> > > > > press the correct buttons to save the
> Tamagotchi's life, the woman
> >lost
> > > > > her
> > > > > own.
> > > > >
> > > > > 6. A 22-year-old Reston, VA man was found
> dead after he tried to use
> > > > > octopus
> > > > > straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad
> trestle. Fairfax County
> > > > > police
> > > > > said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped
> a bunch of these straps
> > > > > together, wrapped an end around one foot,
> anchored the other end to
> >the
> > > > > trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and
> hit
> > > > > the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police
> spokesman, said
> >investigators
> > > > > think Barcia was alone because his car was
> found nearby. "The
> >length
> >of
> > > > > the
> > > > > cord that he had assembled was greater than
> the distance between the
> > > > > trestle
> > > > > and the
> > > > > ground", Carmichael said. Police say the
> apparent cause of death
> >was
> > > > > "Major
> > > > > trauma".
> > > > >
> > > > > 7. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake
> bites. It seems that he
> >and
> >a
> > > > > friend were playing a game of catch, using
> the
> > > > > rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no
> doubt, a future Darwin Awards
> > > > > candidate - was hospitalized.
> > > > >
> > > > > 8.Employees in a medium sized warehouse in
> west Texas noticed the
> >smell
> > > of
> > > > > a
> > > > > gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated
> the building,
> >extinguishing
> > > all
> > > > > potential sources of ignition lights, power,
> etc. After the building
> >had
> > > > > been evacuated, two technicians from the gas
> company were
> >dispatched.
> > > Upon
> > > > > entering the building, they found they had
> > > > > difficulty navigating in the dark. To their
> frustration, none of
> >the
> > > > > lights
> > > > > worked (you can see what's coming, can't
> you?). Witnesses later
> > > described
> > > > > the sight of one of the technicians reaching
> into his pocket and
> > > > > retrieving
> > > > > an
> > > > > object, that resembled a cigarette lighter.
> Upon operation of the
> > > lighter
> > > > > like object, the gas in the warehouse
> exploded, sending pieces of it
> >up
> > > to
> > > > > three miles away. Nothing was found of the
> technicians, but the
> >lighter
> > > > > was
> > > > > virtually untouched by the explosion. The
> technician suspected of
> > > causing
> > > > > the blast had never been thought of as
> 'bright' by his peers.
> > > > >
------------------
Brought to you by the campaign for a better Dauntless! Jeeves =FC= IP: Logged |
Jerry
Pilot
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posted 02-10- 03:06 PM
LOL  IP: Logged |
Sunray
Pilot
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posted 02-15- 03:42 PM
Musta been a Timex lighter. And what the hell is a Tamigotchi key ring and why does it need to be fed? Or am I just showing my age again?IP: Logged |
Jeeves
Pilot
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posted 02-15- 04:14 PM
They were these little digital virtual "pets"....you had to take care of them (feeding, washing, going to the bathroom, etc...) by pushing these little buttons. The little screen would show it crying etc...and would do different beeps for different situations.AH....I seem to know a lot about this, but I swear I never had one....it was my 6 year old sister that had one  ------------------
Brought to you by the campaign for a better Dauntless! Jeeves =FC= IP: Logged |
ArgonV
Pilot
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posted 02-21- 08:35 PM
-In the words of the great Duke Nukem-"Oooo thats gotta hurt!"  IP: Logged | |
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