posted 02-10- 02:52 AM               

These are actual excuse notes from parents
> (including original spelling and grammer) collected by attendance
> clerks of local school districts in Texas:
>
> My son is under a doctor's care and should not
> take P.E. today. Please execute him.
>
> Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was
> sick and I had her shot.
>
> Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on
> Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
>
> Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is
> administrating.
>
> Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
> Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced
> his hip.
>
> John has been absent because he had two teeth
> taken out of his face.
>
> Carlos was absent yesterday because he was
> playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
>
> Megan could not come to school today because she
> has been bothered by very close veins.
>
> Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre
> in his side.
>
> Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has
> very loose vowels.
>
> Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday.
> He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words
> were crossed out in the( )'s]
>
> Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday.
> He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
>
> Irving was absent yesterday because he missed
> his bust.
>
> Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his
> father's fault.
>
> I kept Billie home because she had to go
> Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she
> wear.
>
> Please excuse Jennifer for missing school
> yesterday.
> We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch,
> and when we found it Monday, we thought it was
> Sunday.
>
> Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We
> have to attend her funeral.
>
> My daughter was absent yesterday because she was
> tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
>
> Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday.
> He had a cold and could not breed well.
>
> Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday.
> She was in bed with gramps.
>
> Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a
> gangover.
>
> Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under
> the doctor.
>
> Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she
> had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach.
> Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her
> brother had a low grade fever and ached all
> over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever.
> There must be something going around, her father even
> got hot last night.
>

Hehehe - note the writer's spelling of the word 'grammar'.

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