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Author Topic:   Squawks
Hawk
JAG
posted 01-10- 09:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hawk   Click Here to Email Hawk     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.

(P)=PROBLEM (S)=SOLUTION

(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft

(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers
lack normal seepage

(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) Something tightened in cockpit

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud
(S) Volume set to more believable level

(P) Dead bugs on windshield
(S) Live bugs on order

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground

(P) IFF inoperative
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
(IFF-Identification Friend or Foe)

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
(S) That's what they're there for

(P) Number three engine missing
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search

(P) Aircraft handles funny
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious

(P) Target Radar hums
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics


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nealg
Pilot
posted 01-11- 12:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for nealg   Click Here to Email nealg     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My Sides Are Killing ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What great stuff....Have your favorite, on me, and look...I even got cash!!

------------------
nealg=FC=

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sparkyfc
Pilot
posted 01-11- 12:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sparkyfc     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ROFL.......ROFL......ROFL......My first time posting to this forum, and your already trying to kill me Hawk Nice Job :

Sparky=FC=

[This message has been edited by sparkyfc (edited 01-11-2000).]

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Mudshark
Pilot
posted 01-11- 06:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mudshark     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You got actual cash Neal?

Me an' sparky'll have 2 kamakazies,2 picthers of Fosters,couple of burgers the size of Texas and....

hey Neal where you goin'!
oh well,Hawk put this stuff on Neals tab,I'm sure he's good for it,right sparky?

mudshark =FC=

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nealg
Pilot
posted 01-12- 12:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for nealg   Click Here to Email nealg     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Here, Hawk....what?...naw, that must be a misprint...honest....expiration '00' does NOT mean 1900!!

------------------
nealg=FC=

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Hawk
JAG
posted 01-12- 08:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hawk   Click Here to Email Hawk     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Gosh neilg, thanks for the tip. I will go out and buy a new bolt for my left wheel now.

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sparkyfc
Pilot
posted 01-12- 08:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sparkyfc     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Don't worry Mud.....Pops has to come home some time...he'll be so drunk...he'll just give me his money

Sparky=FC=

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