posted 12-30- 08:27 AM               

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Great Reasons To Be A Guy...
Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You can leave the hotel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean if the meter reader is coming.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
Wedding dress - $3,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Gas (at either end) is cool.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

IP: Logged

posted 12-31- 12:15 AM               

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Hawk, it is a good thing that you started this one. So here is some more:
> MAN, I'M GLAD I'M A MAN, MAN
>
> Everyday I give thanks to God
> I was born a man instead of a broad
> When Oprah comes on, I turn off the TV
> I don't shave my legs, I stand up to pee
> I go to a barber, not a beauty salon
> Don't pluck out my eyebrows just to draw them back on
> Don't wax my pubes so I can wear shorts
> I use my turn signal, I understand sports
>
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
> Tell you the reason I am
> I don't go through a faze every 28 days
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man
> I pay cash at the grocery, no checks or coupons
> Don't take a lot of friends when I go the the john
> I don't throw a fit when I break a nail
> I don't buy a lot of shoes just because they're on sale
> I don't apply makeup in my rear-view mirror
> I don't think of Bambi when I'm out hunting deer
> I drink beer from a bottle, not from a glass
> I don't ask my friends about the size of my ass
>
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
> Tell you the reason I am
> I don't face the pain of water-weight gain
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man
> Let me tell you ladies
> Listen to me ladies
> I love those things inside of your blouse
> I love your pretty faces
> Your warm and soft embraces
> But if I had my own two boobs, I'd never leave the house
>
> I don't spend two hours getting ready for a date
> I don't play with dolls unless they inflate
> When someone asks me my age, I never lie
> After sex in bed, my spot's always dry
> I don't read about orgasms in Vogue magazines
> I don't mind if my dates try to get in my jeans
> I don't spend a fortune on French lingerie
> This is the same underwear I wore yesterday
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
> Tell you the reason I am
> I don't take a pill, I don't use Massengill
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man
>
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man, man
> Tell you the reason I am
> I find Michael Bolton completely revoltin'
> Man, I'm glad I'm a man

I also got one with 100 reason why, but it too long.. if you want just let me know.
Himdog out.

IP: Logged

posted 12-31- 11:40 AM               

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Spanky here...

Me and Mad Dog cracked keep it up post the huge one.

IP: Logged