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Author
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Topic: Your Call
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Himdog
Pilot
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posted 12-24- 06:34 AM
   
Happy Holidays to everyone may it be merry and safe. I'll have a brown ale please.. Have you heard about this..
>This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between
Canadian >authorities and a US naval ship off the coast of
Newfoundland in October, >1995. Radio conversation was released by
the Chief of Naval Operations >10-10-95.
>
>Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North toavoid a
>collision.
>
>Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to
>avoid a collision.
>
>Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR
>course.
>
>Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
>
>Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
>LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY
>THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT
>YOU
>CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR
>COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
>
>Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.>The affair
>
> This woman was having an affair during the day while her husband was at
work.
>One day she was in bed with her boyfriend and she heard her husband's car
pull
>in the driveway.
>
> She yelled at the boyfriend "Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the
>window; my husband is home early!"
>
> The boyfriend looked out the window and said, "I can't jump out the window!
>It's raining like crazy out there and I'm naked!"
>
> She said, "If my husband catches us in here, he will kill both of
> us!"
>
> So the boyfrind grabbed his clothes and and jumped out the window! When he
>landed outside he was in the middle of a "running marathon," so he started to
>run along beside the others - only he was still in the nude, carrying his
>clothes over his arm.
>
> One of the runners asked, "Do you always run in the nude?"
>
> He answered, while gasping for breath, "Oh yes. It feels so freeing having
>the air blow over my skin while I'm running."
>
> Another runner then asked the nude lover, "Do you always run carrying your
>clothes on your arm?"
>
> The naked lover answered breathessly, "Oh yes. That way I can get
dressed at
>the end of the run and get in my car and just go straight home without a
>shower!"
>
>
>The marathon runner then asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
>
> The nude man answered, "Only if it's raining."
>
> Farmer's kids
>
>A farmer had so many children, he ran out of names, so he
>started naming his kids after something around the farm.
>
>The first day of school began, and the teacher asked each
>child their name. When he got to one of the farmer's sons,
>the boy replied "Wagon Wheel".
>
>
>The teacher said, "I need your REAL name, son", to which he
>boy replied, "It's Wagon Wheel, sir...Really".
>
>The teacher, in a huff, said, "All right young man, march
>yourself right down to the principal's office THIS minute !!!!"
>
>The boy got out of his chair, turned to his sister, and said,
>"C'mon, 'Chicken Shit', he ain't gonna believe you, either." >The florist
>
>A local florist just went out of business, but it was his own fault. He
kept
>getting his orders mixed up. One woman received flowers sent by her
>husband, who was at a business meeting in Florida. She was perplexed by the
>message on her card: "Our deepest sympathy."
>
>But she was not nearly as surprised as the woman whose husband had just
passed
>away. Her card read, "Hotter here than I expected. Too bad you didn't come
>too."
Cheers
Himdog out. IP: Logged |
Katana
Pilot
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posted 12-25- 06:00 PM
Haha lol Good ones Himdog,hehe chicken shit hehe. Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year.Cheers.
Kat out------------------
Cheers
Kat out
IP: Logged |
Jade
Pilot
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posted 12-30- 01:28 AM
HeHe Giggle Giggle.....  ------------------
Happy Flying
Jade
IP: Logged | |
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