posted 12-10- 05:37 PM               

> > LITTLE JOHNNY1
> >
> > Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom
> > in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water.
> > Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he
> > peeks in and catches his folks in The Act.
> > Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims
> > "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"
> >
> > Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable
> > questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.
> > Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town.
Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable
> > questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.
> > Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town.
> >
> > Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.
> > Johnny cries out
> > "Hang on tight, Daddy!
> > This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"
> >

LITTLE JOHNNY 3
> >
> > A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex
> > education with her fourth grade class because
> > she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexualinnuendo.
> > But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
> >
> > Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples
> > of sex education from the class. One little boy raises his hand
> > "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs."
> > "Very good, William," cooed the teacher.
> >
"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther.
> > "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher.
> >
> > Finally, Little Johnny raises his hand.
> > With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him.
> > "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger.
> > He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians.
> > And they all attacked at one time.
> > And he killed every one of them with his two guns.
The teacher was relieved but puzzled
> > "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?"
> >
> > "It'll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."
> > __________________________
> >
LITTLE JOHNNY 4
> >
> > Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems
> > when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
> > "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a
> > fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?"
> > "None." replied Johnny "'cause the rest would fly away."
> > "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher.
> > "But I like the way you are thinking."
> > Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now.
> > If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop,
> > one licking her cone, the second biting her cone,
> > and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?"
> > "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the
> > cone?"
> >
> > "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her
> > finger. But I like the way you are thinking."
> > ____________________________
> >
LITTLE JOHNNY 5
> >
> > One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit.
> > "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of
> > fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about.
> > Okay, first: it's round, plumb and red."
> > Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher,
> > wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly
> > answered "An apple." The teacher replied
> > "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking."
> >
> > "Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and
> > brownish."
> > Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his
> > seat trying to get the teacher to call on him.
> > But she skips him again and calls on Billy.
> > "Is it a peach?" Billy asks.
> > "No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato.
> > But I like your thinking," the teacher replys.
> > Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard."
> > By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically.
> > The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally.
> > "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher replies
> > "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."
> >
> > Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly.
> > "Hey, I've got one for you teacher;
> > let me put my hand in my pocket.
> > Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it got a head on it."
> > "Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!"
> >
> > "Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!!"
>>

Himdog out. And I like the way your thinking!