posted 12-03- 09:43 AM
The word for today is "optimistic". I am very "optimistic" about this sim today. Sv has opened another door with his wonderfull SE5a WWI bird. Behind that door lies another land filled with 1,2, and 3 wing colorful flying things. Cool looking tanks maybe and some trenches. Yes I am very "optomistic" today.Ok enough smaltz- here is some real control tower to airplane chatter that will put a smile on any face, ok most faces then:
The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a
three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand
dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four
thousand dollars worth!"
~~~~~~~~~~
PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower
and said "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go
ahead and let PSA go first". The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff
before United had a chance to object to the impersonation!
~~~~~~~~~~
A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing with his approach
speed just a little too high. San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn
right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of
Highway 101 and return to the airport.
~~~~~~~~~~
It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was being
vectored into a long line of airliners in order to land at Kansas City.
KC Approach: "Malibu three-two-Charlie, you're following a 727, one o'clock
and three miles."
Three-two-Charlie: "We've got him. We'll follow him."
KC Approach: "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven o'clock
and three miles. Do you have that traffic?"
Delta 105 (long pause and then in a thick southern drawl): "Well ...I've
got something down there. Can't quite tell if it's a Malibu or a Chevelle,
though."
~~~~~~~~~~~
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7."
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure ... by the way,
as
we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the
runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7;
did you copy the report from Eastern?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff and yes, we copied
Eastern and we've already notified our caterers."
~~~~~~~~~~~
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered lot.
They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location but how to get
there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that
we (a PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt
ground control and a British Airways 747 (call sign "Speedbird 206") after
landing:
Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active
runway."
Ground: "Guten morgen! You vill taxi to your gate!"
The British Airways 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and stopped.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know vare you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."
Ground (with impatience): "Speedbird 206, haff you never flown to
Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (cooly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."
Hehe, ok got to clean the grill it's almost lunch time.
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posted 12-03- 09:43 AM
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