posted 01-04- 12:24 PM               

Those of you who were disappointed in Activision's last so-called "ultra-realistic" flight simulator will be pleased to know that Activision plans on making up for past mistakes. According to Activision the new game will really, really be ultra-realistic, they swear! Sounds good, but how will they achieve such a feat? "Real stuff. Stuff's that real." touted Joe Smith, head of real development for the new Activision title "Wicked-Real Historically Accurate Fighter Squadron: Super-Realistic over Mega-Realistic Europe. (WRHAFS: SROMRE) "

For example: you only get one life. That's right. Open the box, install the game, hop in a fighter and be very very careful! Those things are dangerous! You could get hurt! According to Smith personal preservation is key. "No one can really experience the thrill and adventure of dogfighting without their life being ultra-realistically on the line. To that end we developed our Life-Cycle (paten pending) technology." Life-Cycle technology let's you put your life on the line for some of the most thrilling adventures possible on a PC today. Once you register your mortal soul with Activision, take to the sky with guns a blazin', next stop hell! Smith also warns, "But beware, lest the hunter becomes the hunted and you find yourself going down in flames! You will have paid the ultimate price, sacrificing your life so that, well, this aspect is still in final development."

Smith admits that final testing of the Life-Cycle technology has been difficult due to the lack of willing beta testers. "It would be a pity to have my life ended because of a bug in the program, I mean how fair would it be to trade it all in just because of lag?" complains one would-be beta tester. Still Activation has continued despite these setbacks, setting up "Life Collection Centers" (LCC's) around the country. What does Activision do with all these fallen heroes? "That is still confidential information" responded Smith.

What about the other "ultra-realistic" features included in WRHAFS: SROMRE? "Well we don't want to give it all away, but I can mention that we will be modeling the motion of the tectonic plates and yes, to put this question to rest finally, do expect to hear a realistically simulated "snap-crackle-pop" in your Rice Crispies." Wow! You heard it here first folks! Other features on the list include:

- Historically accurate time zone modeling!
- Oil brand selection finally effects engine performance (yes!)
- Heartburn
- Multi-engine throttle control
- Pets
- Shot-down-over-France Sex Pack Add-On - finally feel the real thrill of victory!

Stay tuned for future developments...

------------------
-Sv =FC=

WWI in SDOE!

posted 01-04- 01:05 PM               

Can't wait!! One ultra realistic take off attempt!! The thrill of defeat!! The agony of crash landing in France, with injuries preventing the completion of the add-on; wow!! The frustration of Victory......

posted 01-04- 01:48 PM               

------------------

posted 01-04- 03:05 PM               

For starters, the "realistically simulated" sound of the Rice Crispies apparently was recorded with digital technology, and as everyone knows, ANALOG is the only way to record sound and be really REALISTIC. Digital may be fine for SNES games and the like, but I'll take analog in my flight sims, thank you very much.

Another "issue" is the lubrication modeling of the "historic" oil brands. Viscosity factors are questionable, and operable life before breakdown may be a little out of whack.

How long must we wait before someone can give us something that gives us a taste of the "real" experience, and dispense with these arcade-like exercises in futility?

Wallowing in frustration at the inability of the world around me to do things exactly the way I want them to be done,

posted 01-04- 06:56 PM               

Someone should email a link to this thread to those pinheads at Activision.

Werner

posted 01-04- 07:15 PM               

The women in France are way too boxy looking and their "ground handling" is terrible. I only hope that Activision can show Psygnosis how a REAL PILOTS sim flies. The harder the better! Tougher than real life !

'scuse me I'm overdue for some self-flagellation.

TS

posted 01-04- 09:14 PM               

------------------